You Can’t Protect Yourself From Life
Peace isn’t knowing nothing bad will happen. It’s trusting yourself when it does.
A guy I work with had a great weekend.
Real good.
Show Friday night.
Family Saturday.
Sun.
Smoothies.
Neighbors.
Friends.
Nothing extraordinary.
Just life actually feeling good.
Then Sunday came.
And he woke up anxious.
Nothing had happened.
No crisis.
No obvious threat.
But his body wouldn’t let him relax.
Like if he enjoyed too much for too long, something would go wrong.
Given his history, that makes sense.
He has experienced real loss.
Not imagined loss.
The kind where the thing you were afraid of actually happens.
So he learned to protect.
Plan.
Anticipate.
Hold on.
And on the surface, that sounds responsible.
Until you see the cost.
Because if you spend your life preparing for everything to be taken from you, life is already being taken from you.
Most people do this in smaller ways.
You’re relaxing, but thinking about Monday.
At work, but wishing you were home.
Home, but thinking about the business.
On vacation, but worrying about returning.
Never really anywhere.
Always negotiating with reality.
That’s not presence.
That’s control wearing responsible clothes.
You should plan.
Save.
Work.
Build prudently.
Choose wisely.
Do everything that is actually yours to influence.
But after that, uncertainty remains.
That’s the deal.
I could tell him: Nothing will be taken from you.
But that’s bullshit.
I don’t know that.
Neither does he.
Peace cannot come from pretending nothing bad will happen.
The deeper move is: Something could be taken from me.
And I will still be okay.
That isn't pessimism.
Pessimism says something bad is coming.
Naivety says nothing bad will.
Resilience says I don't know what's coming, and I don't need to know in order to live today.
Now security isn't coming from controlling the future.
It's coming from trusting yourself to meet it when it arrives.
He has evidence.
One of the worst things happened.
He survived.
Not without pain.
Not without consequence.
But he survived.
And built a life after it.
So why should that only mean terrible things can happen?
It also means terrible things can happen and you can continue.
You don’t need certainty that nothing will be taken from you.
You need confidence that losing something won’t take you with it.