Be Stubborn About the Outcome, Flexible About the Strategy

A guy I work with said he doesn’t always trust himself to do what he says he’s going to do.

Not at work.

There, he performs.

It’s the smaller things.

Clean the room.

Organize something.

Start a habit.

Follow through on a personal standard.

A few days later, it’s gone.

Then the bigger story starts: Why can’t I just do what I say?

People turn this into a character judgment too fast.

I’m lazy.

I’m undisciplined.

I need more motivation.

Maybe.

But first look at the strategy.

When he decided he would do something, what system made sure it happened?

Basically none.

He thought about it.

Then expected himself to remember and feel like doing it later.

So the strategy was: Hopefully future me remembers and cooperates.

That is not much of a strategy.

He is also all-or-nothing.

That helps him at work.

He can lock in for twelve hours.

Push.

Go hard.

But you cannot point that operating system at everything.

You cannot work all day, come home, do the full workout, clean the whole room, handle every personal obligation, and maintain every relationship.

Time is finite.

Energy is finite.

Attention is finite.

So we changed the method.

Make a running list.

Put it in the phone.

Pin it.

Get the obligations out of the head.

Your brain is useful for judgment, creativity, and problem-solving.

It is a terrible storage system.

Then make the actions smaller.

Instead of clean the room: Clear the desk.

Five minutes.

Done.

The all-or-nothing person hates that.

Why wouldn’t I just clean the whole room?

Because you’re not.

That’s why we’re talking.

People become strangely loyal to strategies that are not producing the outcome they claim to care about.

I want to do the whole thing at once.

Okay.

But you aren’t.

So what are we protecting?

The result?

Or the preferred image of how the result should happen?

Those are different.

If accountability works, use accountability.

If a list works, use the list.

If five minutes works when an hour keeps failing, take the five minutes.

You do not get extra points for accomplishing something through the most difficult route available.

The method is not sacred.

The outcome is.

Failure becomes information.

The task was too big.

The reminder didn’t work.

You forgot because it wasn’t written down.

You were exhausted.

Okay.

Adapt.

Your standards can remain high while your methods become more intelligent.

Be stubborn about where you’re going.

Be flexible about how you get there.