Thoughts Aren't Actions
Observe the thought. Question it. But don't automatically turn it into a verdict about your character.
You're having thoughts that terrify you.
They come out of nowhere.
Violent.
Dark.
Intrusive.
And the worst part isn't the thoughts themselves, it's the shame that comes after.
The feeling that you're broken, that you're a psychopath, that something is fundamentally wrong with you.
Here's what I want you to know: you're not broken.
Intrusive thoughts are not a sign of who you are.
They're not a prediction of what you'll do.
They're not a symptom of evil or sickness.
They're a symptom of something much simpler and much more fixable: repression.
I'm not a psychologist.
But I've worked with enough people to know this pattern.
The high performer.
The guy who doesn't fight.
The person who keeps the peace.
The one who's always chill, always easygoing, never aggressive.
And then, out of nowhere, violent thoughts start appearing in his head.
He feels like a monster.
He feels like he's losing his mind.
He's not.
Here's the truth that mental health professionals don't talk about enough: thoughts aren't actions.
Full stop.
Ted Bundy had two versions.
Version one: he thinks about killing people his whole life but never does it.
He raises his family.
He lives a normal life.
He's not a serial killer, he's just a guy with disturbing thoughts.
Version two: he acts on those thoughts.
Now he's a serial killer.
The difference isn't the thoughts.
It's the actions.
You can be married for twenty years, see someone attractive, and think about it.
That's very different than doing it.
You know you shouldn't think that.
We all know that.
But you're not committing a crime by thinking it.
You're just human.
The same applies to your intrusive thoughts.
They're disturbing.
They're unwelcome.
They're causing you distress.
But they're not you.
They're not a prediction of what you'll do.
They're a message from your subconscious trying to get your attention.
The problem isn't the thoughts.
The problem is the shame you're layering on top of them.
Shame grows in the dark.
The more you try to suppress the thoughts, the more they grow.
The more you tell yourself you're broken for having them, the worse it gets.
Because now you're not just dealing with the intrusive thought, you're dealing with the secondary trauma of believing you're a bad person for having it.
That's the real problem.
So here's what I want to leave you with: you're not a psychopath.
You're not evil.
You're not broken.
You're a human being with a subconscious that's trying to tell you something.
The first step is to stop the shame.
Stop labeling the thoughts as good or bad.
Just observe them.
Acknowledge them.
Get curious about them.
Because there's a reason they're there. And once you understand the reason, they lose their power.
- When was the last time you felt shame for having a thought you didn't want to have?
- What would change if you stopped believing that your thoughts define who you are?
- If these intrusive thoughts are a message from your subconscious, what do you think it's trying to tell you?